But the person who taught me the most about human motivations and behaviors?My own therapist, who provided psychoanalytic therapy to me for over five years in my 20s. You can meet someone who unleashes the most elaborate sexual desire, but that person is probably not someone you should pursue, because the intensity of your sexual feelings likely comes from a primitive — and dysfunctional — set of feelings and beliefs.People who feel extreme, I-need-to-have-them-now sexual attraction often have a history of psychological trauma or neglect. It could be a specific incident — a horrific incident with a family member or stranger.Or it could be an ongoing pattern of extreme dysfunction — for instance, a parent, peer, or another adult luring you into an ongoing relationship that is unhealthy or even physically or emotionally dangerous.One nugget of wisdom he gave me when I was 25: "When you feel extremely sexually attracted to someone in the very beginning, walk the other way." Of course, he had to spend a few more sessions drilling that concept down, because, at first, it made absolutely no sense to me. Most important, meeting someone and feeling too sexually attracted often indicates underlying .Sexual attraction that is too intense from the very start often indicates a distorted belief that this new person will provide a sense of emotional completion, fulfilling long-simmering emotional needs that have previously gone unmet.
So I tried again with another group, and then another. After downing a drink (or two), I decided to try again with another group.Many people do enjoy adult chat rooms and pornographic sites without becoming addicted.Others, though, spend so much time on cyber sex that their lives and relationships suffer. We all do it, it’s not a big deal.” As I awaited the wrath of three women, I was surprised to hear them laughing and sharing their opinions. With a tipsy grin I shot back, “Oh please, we’re all adults here.